Quarter-life what?!

According to The Boston Globe, the quarter-life crisis occurs in one’s twenties, after entering the “real world”.

When people talk about a quarter or midlife crisis, what springs to mind?

Buying a Porsche? Getting a tattoo? Getting a piercing? Taking on a new, extreme hobby? Dying your hair a bright colour (guilty as charged!)?

I had never considered the fact that I would be so upset at turning 25. “Age is just a number”, “it’s just another day” I would say to myself. Yet, for me it is so much more.

When I was but a mere ‘youth’, I had all these plans of what I wanted to have done by the time I was 25 – I would have met the love of my life and had a romance fit for a Nicholas Sparks movie, I would have 2 wonderful, perfect, angelic children, a good job, a house, a dog, a white picket fence; classic ‘Little House on the Prairie’ stuff.

Yet, here I am at the age of 25. Single, child-less, renting a flat, £18 in my pocket to last me until pay day, obsessed with Lego and with (incredible) purple hair. Whilst all around me friends my age are buying houses, having children, getting married – all the things I wanted. Now, I don’t begrudge them any of this – quite the opposite, I am insanely happy for them, but truthfully a little disappointed that I was not able to reach my own goals.

The night before my 25th – the last day of being 24 years old – I rang my Mother in tears. I was feeling lost, unaccomplished, a failure, fat, ugly, and every other negative word you can think of. However, on my third day of being 25, I realise that it’s not so bad. I may not have all the things I wanted, but I have everything that I need, and in all honesty – that is what really matters. My life is enriched by so many other things.

I am blessed to enjoy my job; I work with, and for some of the best people I have ever met. I have a roof over my head; it may not be my roof, but it is a roof – almost daily I am reminded of my fortunate position by the witnessing of the homeless sleeping in the shop fronts. I have the most amazing friends; friends that have been with me through the worst times of my life, and friends that I know I can rely on no matter what. I have an incredible family who love me unconditionally and make me laugh so much I feel like my brain will fall out.

I spent so much of my teenage years and the last few years comparing myself to everyone else. I have spent so much time obsessing that I am too over weight, not skinny or toned enough, not pretty enough, not wearing the right clothes…

STOP.

This is not what life is about. Life is about appreciating what you do have – if you spend too much time looking at other peoples lives, you fail to notice the miracle that is yours. The beauty that surrounds us in tangible, ordinary things is bountiful – so appreciate it, and enjoy it. Live in the moment, and make the moments live (CORNY!).

I know that this is the sort of thing that is written about in hundreds, upon thousands of blogs but this comes from my heart, this comes from someone who really has been through struggles and dark times.

I implore you, if you do anything this weekend make it meaningful. Go outside in the rain without an umbrella, let the wind blow through your hair (shouldn’t be hard given this weeks weather – cheers Doris!), sit on a bench and watch the world go by. Look at the sky. Hug your family, tell them how much you love them. But most of all, appreciate yourself and what you have – stop looking at other people’s lives and start looking at your own.

So why the huge rant?!

I entered this week terrified of being 25, potentially at the start of a quarter-life crisis, genuinely pained at the thought of getting older. Lost.

I exit this week terrified of being 25, definitely not in a quarter-life crisis, grateful for the opportunity to become older, purple haired, more clichéd and corny but most of all, with a full appreciation of the amazing things I have in my life. Found.

 

Peace out.

 

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2 thoughts on “Quarter-life what?!

  1. Well Emily Clark! Who would have thought that such wise, mature words would spill from the same mouth that bullies me….in the nicest sense…to work harder in the gym. Not for a while I know….but I will be back soon! I am approaching my 50th birthday this year 😱 And the question in my mind is ‘Will I deal with reaching that milestone with the same class as that Emily Clark?’ I hope so! 😉X

    Like

  2. In this blog you touch on the big 3.

    1. Marriage
    2. Kids
    3. Mortgage

    I’m 32 and have none of those things and I can honestly say that my life is no worse off. Doing what makes you happy is far more important that adhering to social conventions.

    Should you follow a path just because others have walked it?
    Should you do something because its always been done that way?
    Is someone else better than you because they are different?

    The answer to all of these questions is NO!

    You define your own happiness and worth in life.

    Liked by 1 person

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