Letter to my 16year old self…

Dear Emily,

Before too long you are going to go through some of the worst and hardest years of your life, but I am writing to tell you it is going to be ok. I write to you, almost 10 years on; 10 years older, 10 years wiser (questionable.). I am all the proof you need that no matter how hard things get – no matter how badly you want to quit – you will make it out the other side.

For starters – you are having to make a big decision this year about what to do after your GCSE’s. Go with your gut, please. Don’t do what you think will make you popular – it won’t.

REVISE.

Stop being lazy and just do some god damn revision. You have so much potential that you just can’t see. I know revision is hard and boring, but it’s just for a couple of months and it will pay dividends for years to come. Trust me.

Stop trying to be who you think everyone wants you to be. You are you – I cannot stress this enough. No matter how much you change, how many people you try to impress – at the end of the day, you are the one who has to lay in bed at night with your thoughts and your feelings. Not them. Be true to yourself, be strong – I know you don’t feel like you can, but please believe me when I say you have a strength inside you that could move mountains.

You are going to need that strength.

You won’t know this yet – and don’t freak out – but in a couple of years you are going to be diagnosed as bipolar. Yes, it sucks but you will deal with it and you WILL cope. Pinky promise.

Don’t go from relationship, to relationship.  It took me until I was 23 to be on my own, and in the past almost 18 months I have learnt more about myself and grown more as a person than in all the years previous. Embrace being on your own.

You have a spirit in you that is tenacious, feisty, kind, caring and determined – you just have to let it out! How different our life could have been if you’d just trusted your instincts and had a little more confidence.

Listen to your Mum.

She knows. She cares. She is right. 

Most importantly though, appreciate. Appreciate everything – your friends, yourself, your family, your surroundings. These are the things and the people you are going to need most over the next 8 years. They are going to carry (more like drag) you through some – honestly – shit times. So love them and let them know how much you appreciate them. Hug them and tell them what they mean to you. You don’t tell them enough.

It’s easy for me to say now – happy, independent (struggling, but independent….ish), confident and strong – that everything is going to be ok, I wouldn’t have believed me either. Yet, here I am. Still here. Still fighting. Still strong.

You are fantastic.

You are intelligent.

You are beautiful.

You are NOT fat.

You are loud.

Own it, girl.

Now, I wouldn’t change anything that is going to happen to you – it has made me who I am today – so just take the rough with the smooth (yes, there may be a lot of rough and not much smooth), because everything will come up trumps in the end. Just you wait.

Hang on in there.

x

 

P.S. LOOK WHERE YOU’RE WALKING and ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHECK YOUR SKIRT ISN’T TUCKED IN YOUR KNICKERS. You can thank me later.

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