Exercise or EXTRA FRIES?

So…this morning…


I woke up super early (5.30) to go for a run, yes – a run. Not a walk, a.run. in the vein hope of getting my once svelte figure back (because, you know, one run would accomplish this.).

It was…unsuccessful.

Let me set the scene. Alarm goes off. Bleary eyed, I haul myself out of bed – this isn’t so bad, it’s a glorious morning! I shuffle about the flat, banging into various pieces of furniture and dig out some semblance of fitness clothing only to discover that I have left my trainers at work. Shit. No bother, I’ll just wear my pumps – I’m sure they’ll be fine for one day. 

Lycra clad I grab my keys and set off. In true Emily fashion however, I pick up the wrong keys, only realising this AFTER I’d shut my front door. Shit. No bother, there’s a spare set in my car (I know me so well.). 

At last, I head out into the brave wide world to commence what feels like a near impossible mission. I start running, “this is great” I think to myself.

How wrong I was.

After a mere 10 minutes of what feels like Usain Bolt running (but was probably more Phoebe Buffay running) I want to die; I am sweating so much I feel like a rain God and the sole of my foot is burning, I have a blister. 

Satan himself is in my shoe.

By now death feels inevitable so I take myself home, all prepared with keys in my sports bra.

All prepared with keys in my sports bra….in my sports bra…

Shit…they’ve fallen out.

I knew this running malarkey was a bad idea.

At this point I was mildly thankful for the poor choice of footwear; the blister meant I hadn’t gone particularly far so I was easily able to locate my missing keys and let myself back into my flat.


Alas, I shan’t be making that mistake again. No, not the mistake of picking up the wrong keys, or the mistake of wearing the wrong shoes. The mistake of running.

Never again shall I be so foolish.

This tale of hardship and woe has a happy ending, however…

I now know how long my automatic bathroom fan stays on for – 20 minutes. I got home just as it was switching off.

Oh, and I went back to bed for another hours sleep. Now that’s a happy ending. 




2 thoughts on “Exercise or EXTRA FRIES?

  1. This so me. This morning i left for work in my gym gear to walk to work. So within my bag i had my work clothes…and wise old me decided to put my lunch in with my clothes…without a bag seperating them in the likely scenario that my lunch would spill..i got to work and my clothes were covered in a delighful array of bolognese sauce and meat…. i am currently sat in red stained stone coloured chinos festering in extreme temperatures stinking of a spaghetti bolognese buffet.


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